To hold you more than hold
by Wintry Leen
Summary: Because no matter what he does, he knows he will never deserve her. SasuSaku Wedding Night. Oneshot. #48


**a/n:** Just a very quick oneshot because I really loved listening to The Script's "Never Seen Anything Quite Like You" and I kinda imagined what went on during SS honeymoon. I mean they must've had one?! The title is derived from the lyrics of the song.

Well, actually, I've been listening to a lot of wedding songs recently. Ugh.

* * *

 _To hold you more than hold_

His eyes have seen the worst of this world, with every corner echoing narratives of death in different timbres. All of which are equally sonorous and painful.

He thought he would never _ever_ forget the day he was stripped of his humanity as he watched his parents die in front of him, or when the brother he had ever so admired touched his forehead for the last time, with bloodied hands and a smiling face, so gruesomely mismatched.

But _she_ has called his name. Many times and more. And he is glad that she has never stopped, as if waiting for the time he'll heed. And when he did, he felt his whole life resetting.

It's only when he looks at Sakura does he mutter a litany of relief for still having his eyes, for not choosing instant blindness over an enduring pain. He has never taken pride in his eyes and their capabilities except for the wonderful fact that these irises will never tire of seeing her every drop of perspiration when she trains, her wondrously hued hair that becomes even more beautiful windswept, her emerald orbs warming as she responds to his gaze, and her small lips unfailingly stretching into a smile when he says thank you.

His eyes saw all the colors reflected at the sight of her in white. But his favorite, the one he will commit to memory and to his grave, is the sight of her now, basked in nothing else but his shadow over her.

He's seeing her now far more than the other times, and he wonders if he can also hold this beautiful woman more than what is permitted by his skin and fingers, if he can love his better half beyond what he knows love is.

But he knows better than time and against time that on the days to come, he will live more than life itself that it puts death to shame.

Sakura is _not_ his home nor is she his life and love. Uchiha Sakura is all those all at once and so much more.

So much more.

"Sasuke-kun . . ."

He sees her bite her lip as she carefully shifts her gaze away, the shaft of moonlight allowing him to see the darkening blush on her cheeks. He notices her one hand crumpling the sheet beneath her, tugging at it in desperation. He then gives her space to breathe, proceeding to lie down beside her and gently turning her face to him with a hand on her cheek.

"Don't hide from me."

"But it's embarrassing . . . and I don't. . ." she replies with shaky breath, her eyes still avoiding his.

"If you need more time, then I understand."

"It's not that, Sasuke-kun!" she panics, her body now fully turned to him.

She sits up and hugs her knees to her chest, and he knows it's a subtle attempt on her part to hide her nakedness from him. "But, but I'm afraid that I'd disappoint you," she mumbles, "My body's full of scars and I know nothing of this and I just realized that you deserve so much better…"

"Sakura," he reproaches gently, sitting up as well.

He doesn't deserve hearing those words from her. If there was someone who deserved so much better, then it could never be him. He has never really deserved to hold her with his fingers which had once enjoyed feeling the density of death in their clutches.

He reaches for the side of her face, and when she finally follows his lead, he drops his hand and longingly traces her face with his eyes. "It's always been you who deserves so much better."

"No, Sasuke-kun, you know that's not true. I've always – "

"Then you also have to understand. You're the only woman I'd ever want to hold."

He knows her weak spot, and he is willing to abuse that to his advantage if it would get her to understand what feelings he can never phrase properly.

"Thank you for choosing to be with me, Sakura."

How she could smile so beautifully despite her tears, he'll never know. But if only she knows how much it affects him – to know that only he has that kind of power over her and that she has wholeheartedly bestowed him such a gift.

He leans in and kisses the corner of her eyes before placing a loving kiss on her forehead, his thumb already sealing away her tears.

As his lips slide down the bridge of her nose, he hears her chuckling.

She gives him a sheepish grin when he looks at her questioningly.

"Nothing . . . Just that I can't help thinking that this is . . . like a dream. You being here, in the same room, on the same bed. You've only ever given me forehead pokes before, you know, saying nothing else but thank you and next time, and we've never touched this much before and I'm just so happy that this is actually happening. I mean, who would've thought you'd notice me and date me – oh, wait I had to ask you about that and you didn't really know what that is and I had to explain and did you really say yes bec – "

He presses his finger against her lip. She is alluringly adorable, but he needs something more from her, and it cannot wait.

"I didn't say yes but I held your hand. And this is not the first time we've – as you put it – touched this much."

He smirks at her confused face. He'd never tell her the forehead kisses he's so enjoyed giving her in the darkness of her room.

"I don't bother to know a lot of things. But at that point, I knew I wanted you, Sakura."

He swipes his finger across her lip to prove his point.

She smiles before sitting on her knees and dropping a kiss on his forehead.

"And I said yes," she whispers happily, "I'll always say yes to you, Sasuke-kun. Only to you."

He wraps his arm around her, holding her in place so that his ears are pressed tenderly against her chest.

She runs her fingers through his hair, and in bliss, he imagines himself dying peacefully to this music.

…

 _ **Fin.**_

 _I'm pretty sure your imaginative minds can fill in the gaps. *coughs the smexy parts coughs*_

 _(I have an overload of SS fic ideas in my head. So help me kami-sama.)_

(08/27) edited for typo: thank you, _fanofthisfiction~!_


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